Count the Cost
by The Emcee
Summary: It had been a close call. For a few minutes, it had seemed as though James Tiberius Kirk had died like his dad had died: in the line of duty. Luckily, that was not the case. However, there's always a cost to every miracle, no matter how big or small it is.


Title: Count the Cost

Author: The Emcee

Pairing: Spirk

Rating: K+

Summary: It had been a close call. For a few minutes, it had seemed as though James Tiberius Kirk had died like his dad had died: in the line of duty. Luckily, that was not the case. However, there's always a cost to every miracle, no matter how big or small it is.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, actors, or the fandom.

A/N: I just came back from the theaters with my mom and nephew and, naturally, we saw _Star Trek Into Darkness_. On the way home, this popped into my head and I've decided to post it before going to be. It has mpreg so if you don't like then don't read. R&R. Enjoy!

**Count the Cost**

_Demon's Run._

_When a good man goes to war,_

_The night will fall and drown the sun._

_When a good man goes to war, _

_Friendship dies, true love lies,_

_The night will fall and the dark will rise._

_When a good man goes to war_

_Doctor Who_

_~…~_

Had it not been for the tribble, Bones knew for certain that Jim would be dead and buried. So, really, it was the tribble who deserved all of the thanks. Lord knew that Bones would've preferred Jim thank he tribble than Khan, that was for dame sure. While Khan's blood made it possible for Jim to come back from the dead, the bastard didn't deserve any thanks or any kind words at all. Actually, he deserved the worst punishment imaginable, but as he was on ice, Bones supposed that an endless sleep would just have to suffice.

But no one would ever forget about him or his God be damned crew for a very long time. The people that Khan had murdered would never be forgotten and their families would forever remember the day that their loved ones died at the hands of a mad man. Star Fleet wouldn't forget him any time soon either. How could they, especially when their top commander was the one who brought Khan back out of hibernation just to start a war with the Klingons? Apparently, Marcus had never heard of the saying, 'never judge a book by its cover'. It was obvious that Khan was no one to be trifled with and the poor sap had done just that, and paid the price for it. Rightfully so, in Bones' opinion.

Bones knew for sure that he wasn't going to forget about Khan any time soon. Hell, he thought that things had been bad when they had to deal with Nero. Khan was a whole other level that no one was ready for and everyone lost a lot in order to capture him and freeze his ass. Families had lost loved ones. Friends had lost friends. Lovers had lost lovers… The number of deaths piled too high and Bones honestly didn't want to think about it.

However, one stuck out painfully in his mind.

Jim's death had, of course, been hard to deal with until he had noticed the tribble. After having noticed that, all Bones needed was Khan – or rather, his blood. Spock had brought the criminal mastermind back, albeit a bit bruised and bloody, but still in one piece. Once at a stable facility, Bones and his staff set to work on the transfusion. It was while he was scanning Jim, checking him over to make sure that the entire process would actually work, that he noticed it. At first, he had thought that he had made a mistake, so he scanned Jim again. After the fourth scan, Bones knew for sure that he hadn't been mistaken. He paled at the thought and was sick to his stomach, which was already upset from falling through space and the atmosphere faster than he preferred or liked.

Jim had been pregnant when he had died.

_Had been_.

From what Bones could tell, Jim had been, at the most, three months pregnant if that. A feeling of dread and horror, the likes of which Bones had never experienced, welled up within him. He knew for a fact that Jim had no idea that he had been pregnant. If he had been, he would've told Bones or have him look him over or _something_. Besides, if Jim knew, then Spock would've known too. But the green blooded hob-goblin didn't know either. Not until Bones was forced to break the bad news to him, that is.

Bones had seen a lot of frightening things in his time, but seeing the utter sadness and heartbreak on Spock's face was the most frightening thing he had ever seen. Jim was still in a coma after having received the transfusion, so, naturally, he had no idea. And that left Spock alone to sort through his emotions about the loss of their child. To say it had been awkward would be an understatement. To say that Bones had been at a loss as to what to say or how to comfort Spock was an even bigger one. Whatever doubts the doctor had had about the Vulcan's feelings for Jim vanished in that instant. Anyone could see as plain as day just how much Jim had meant to Spock; anyone could see how difficult it was for Spock to go two weeks with the knowledge that his and Jim's unborn child, barely developed, had died before it even had the chance to live.

If Bones had thought that Spock's reaction had been had, it paled in comparison to Jim's. At first, there was confusion. Naturally, after all he had just come out of a coma after having received a blood transfusion from a superhuman psychopath. And then, realization struck. He had been pregnant and he didn't even know it. That sounded very much like Jim all right. Finally, there was the same heartbroken sadness and despair that Bones had seen on Spock's face only it was worse. It was worse because, well, Bones preferred Jim over Spock anyway, but it wasn't just that. It was worse because when Jim had realized that he had been pregnant, there was a very small spark of happiness that had come to him as well.

Perhaps it was that realization, the fact that Jim had been pregnant and would've had a baby had it not been for Khan, that caused the tears to flow. Silently at first, they began to pour down Jim's face like a waterfall and his cries and sobs would forever haunt Bones for the remainder of his days. He watched with sad eyes and a heavy heart as Spock held a crying, trembling Jim, who looked far too young and innocent in that big bed with too many machines cluttering around him.

Bones laid a hand on Jim's shoulder and told him how sorry he was. He knew that such a blow would hit Jim harder than anything he had ever had to deal with before. It would take a good long while for Jim to recover from it, if he ever did. But he wasn't alone and he had to know that. They were a family after all, and they would all feel the loss and the sadness of the child that would never be.

Yes, they had beaten Khan and had saved the day. But the cost was too great and Bones didn't think that Jim would be able to handle another one like it. He feared, and rightfully so he believed, that another loss such as the one of his unborn child would break Jim. And Bones feared that Jim would never mend if he broke too much.

When Khan woke up, if he ever woke up, he would pay dearly for his crimes. Bones was only disappointed that he, Jim, and Spock would be long dead before that ever happened.

_Demon's Run_

_But count the cost._

_The battle is won_

_But the child is lost._

_Doctor Who_


End file.
